Sunday, December 9, 2007

Garden Streams

剛「接手」了一個團契,可以看看一些網上的東西。

我攪團契...未知會變成點。

Garden Streams

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

回港第一份工

05年尾從加拿大回來後,在06年二月被介紹了第一份工作:HK Art Centre的節目助理。說起來都有點可惜,做了兩個月,剛剛試用期滿,我便「因為興趣係音樂而不是視藝」,所以轉了工。真正原因...除了因為當時主要 都係做一些不喜歡的事,例如網頁、協助公關及行政等東西,其實心底裡清楚最大原因係錢。

第二份工都做得不長,但係更清楚我個人唔可以死做「別人的工作」,現在做freelance,自己攪活動,做行政、聯絡和會計都冇所謂,可能因為係「自己的工作」。

好真惜頭兩份工的經驗,尤其在Art Centre所認識的人,和學習到的東西。很深刻,試用期完前一星期,老細帶我一起去見出版社,叫我近本書的進度,我覺得佢信任我,但係我又偏偏唔鐘意做。正當那一天,當時的未來老細打我手機,叫我去傾傾,那種心程真係好複雜。

到現在都不懂得「處理」這些情況,又唔希望只當老細係老細,尊敬佢又覺得佢勁,但係轉工這些事情點同老細「開心見誠」的傾呢?所以最後都只係雙方有禮貌地說一些客套的說話。

But I have always been proud of those 2 months, not because of what I did, but because of the projects that I helped: http://www.comixhomebase.com.hk

Thursday, October 4, 2007

〔此文章曾在八月二日為題在http://lampful.com/node/1724發表。〕

又遲了交稿,這次的原由(每次都一定有 原由)是接連多天都不在香港,從加拿大回來便入了多天LA Camp(當然沒有其他工作人員般辛苦),然後便陪媽媽往澳門三天。在加拿大時一心只想著工作(和找朋友),回來後一天便是Harry Potter 7 出版的日子,而我當然是專注在最短的時間內完成這結局篇。不是說從沒有一、兩個小時的空間,只是未能進入「思」的心情來落筆。

「思」的狀態,暫時簡單形容為內心寧靜和缺乏雜念,而「停」,就是進入這狀態的過程。我們常常談「思」的方法和內容,反而缺少談「停」的重要性,在此提出小弟的經驗,希望可一起更享受「停」,經歷靜那可畏的力量。
人不是機器,一般來說是不能一下子將心情靜下來,而是需要一些時間,譬如說,到咖啡店溫習、在睡前閱讀小說或是在電影開始前的一片漆黑,都有助內心的安靜 和減少雜念,漸漸專注當前的事。「停」這過程是很重要的,有好機次看戲劇雖然只是遲到了幾分鐘,但是卻因為未有機會平復心情,看了很久才全心專注在精彩的 演出中。今天當我觀看演出時,為了給自己時間準備心情,總會比別早一點到步。

I never thought I could move like that…

I never thought our movements could match so well…

到今天,仍常在日常生活中用戲劇、繪畫和音樂的遊戲這類「方法」去平靜自己。

「停」有方法,但最重要的始終是「時間」,連過熱的機器也需要時間來降溫,可況是人呢?可惜香港生活令人常處於亂的狀態,只能在工餘的時間(用錢)找尋「停」的「方法」,彷彿「方法」是萬能的。

親愛的朋友,我們要保守我們的心,勝過保守一切,因為當生活已經被忙亂侵食,我們只能從心開始,建立安靜的空間,從中得力,一步一步將可「停」下來「思」想的空「間」擴大。相信這樣做,人們便不用再逃避,而變得有力量去面對心裡重要的問題。

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Notebook Caution

2 nights ago I was playing computer on my notebook, used a mug to hold my usual cup of water, so that it would be very difficult to be spilt

then, in a moment of video game emergency, my left hand reached for the "w" button and knocked the mug over towards the notebook!

I guess about 1/4 of the mug was spilt onto the keyboard, these are the steps i then took:

- shut down right away
- without closing the screen, turn the notebook upside down and let the water drip out
- opened the bottom of the notebook, wipe away any visible trace of water
- take out any movable parts and let it dry for a night

the next night when i put it back together, the touch pad wasn't working, it also caused some strange effects such as showing an extra DVD drive, luckily after i checked again and plug in all the internal cables, it is working perfectly now

advise: keep your water away from you notebook!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

多倫多 - 什麼是青年工作?

走到數千里遠的多倫多,找尋一些LA的「過來人」。短短十七日中,聆聽了不少故事,看看他們從「領袖訓練營」走出來後得到了什麼,聽聽他們離營多年後的感想,精彩故事的難以寥寥數字續一歸納和形容。對我個人來說,回到小學時成長的國土中,故事和往事都重燃了我對青年工作的熱誠,回憶起當日在這城市中學習參與青年工作的日子。

什麼是青年工作?在多倫多這個富裕的社區中,青年人就讀專上學府,身活無憂,他們還有什麼需要呢?某天早上在喝一杯「茶」和一杯「咖啡」的時間中,「嗒」出了一些「加國華裔青年」的味道...

第一幕
(在美華茶餐廳進食早餐,斷續聽到鄰桌一對父母和一個似乎是剛入大學的青年人的對話)

「...讀這一類科目的話,你需要開始計劃...」
「...」
「...住apartment嗎?還是住屋呢?有個花園,可以種o下o野,喜歡的話可養魚」
「我都唔用花園...」
「...將會有個三日兩夜的『領袖訓練營』,去學o下o野啦...佢地咁成功係一樣o野:懂得籌錢,還好好利用...在美國影響華人政客...」
「...」
「...如果你在營中認識十個人,他朝有兩個在社會上有影響力,你也可以說『我們曾經在同一個營會』...」
「...」
「...你如果想投資也要學習去計劃...Jacob近來好嗎?」
「他剛回來多倫多」
「找他出來見o下,大家交換一下意見,有些社交生活...這些才是社交,你那些朋友算是什麼社交呢?出來飲o下o野,傾o下廢話...」
「...」
「...唔係話市儈,係為自己將來著想...」

第二幕
(食完早餐,茶餐廳太忙,所以到Starbucks寫作,踏入店舖,剛好是轉shift的時間,一名剛下班的少女和一名剛上班的朋友在談話,兩位都是華僑的少女)

“…I want to spend a summer in Europe…”
“Yeah? That’s great…”
(繼續神往地細談有關歐洲的生活和文化)

“… to spend some time serving underprivileged youths…”
(細談不同機構的特質,然後談入大學的準備)

(一位陌生的中年男士加入)
“…you know I was at that college 30 years ago too?”
(細談一會後男士離開店舖,兩位少女繼續傾談)

*****

大量香港人移民多倫多,在Scarborough和Markham一帶建立了大量商場和「港式」服務,富裕一點的新移民在這裡住下差點可將文化衝擊減至零。青年人上學不是父母接送便是駕駛最新的日本車,在校內與其他「同鄉」傾著香港最流行的事和人,定居了十多年都仍以「香港人」自居。

另一面,在多倫多土生土長的青年人,自小便過著加拿大人的生活,操著流利的英語。但進入小學高年班的時候,同學間開始留意到膚色的不同,被視為中國人,不但與同年時不同膚色的朋友生了一層薄薄的隔膜,而在另一面卻又溶入不倒同一膚色但不同文化的香港同學們。俗稱為Banana(外黃內白)的他們被夾在中間,面對著嚴重的身份危機。

上述兩個片段可算是這兩類青年人的縮影,一群生活富裕的青年人默默接受了父母的期望,只懂努力延續(守著)家庭的財富和生活水平。而明顯對身份迷網的第二代華裔青年卻會為了擴闊自己的眼光,在咖啡店兼職賺錢到歐洲一遊,亦以行動表達對社會的負擔。

在「公」在「私」我都較喜歡第二位青年人,她關心別人,對社會有貢獻,而她賺錢往歐洲的決心和將會遇見的經歷,相信會將她塑造為一位有內涵的傾談對像。不過,像不少其他CBC一樣,就算她走遍天涯,到最後仍是要回到身份這問題。

同樣富裕,一個將要走上一條已為他舖好但卻不是他的路,而一個將要在途上看看自己是為何而走...身為青年工作者,可對以上兩位青年說些什麼呢?我們的角色可以是什麼呢?

早在1997年,一群青年人和青年工作者舉辦了音樂劇「戈非加池」(Coffee & Tea),探討九十年代加拿大的第二代華裔青年(CBC - Canadian Born Chinese)和第一代華裔青年(FOB – Fresh off the Boat)之間種種身份和文化的實況。面對90年代「港人」青年將陸續在加國落地生根,誕下新一批的CBC,這議題到今天只有更複雜和迫切。

這就是我們身邊那些富裕但不滿足的青年人,不是水深火熱的溫,而是一杯不冷不熱的茶,可漸漸缺乏氧份,最後成為一代無感覺和無熱誠的人,也可以從新被燃點為閃爍的生命。

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Recent life update and planned changes

Started working for a youth organization, doing research for a book on leadership. Still at the planning stage, but my part will be to go to Toronto and interview some youths. That will happen in July.

Learning from some friends who have a slightly different system of blogging, I may make some addition or changes.

1. I find that I sometimes like to write quick reflections of a show or a movie I have read or seen, so that may be a new page.

2. I find that in the current "Curriculum", it is quite under-use. I think I will incorporate "Resource into this section to recommend good books or information sources.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Exhibition Openin of "Sense of Asylum"





http://senseofasylum.blogspot.com/

Went to this exhibition's opening a few days ago. The opening was informational more than artistic, so I am thinking that it isn't a strongly artistic exhibition, nevertheless, the issue is important.

The social worker who worked with asylum seekers pending for refugee status gave us some really frontline stories of their lifelihood (is that how you spell the word?). The lawer who fights for refugee rights gave us some idea of the legal aspect of the issue.

I was especially drawn to an idea that the lawer shared with us (in my words): "In HK, perhaps due to the bad handling of the Vietnamese refugees back in the 80s and 90s, refugees are always seen as a problem. But in Canada, refugees are seen as a resource. Why? Remember that these people are leaving their home country often because they will not submit to unjust military and political system, these people are the good guys with integrity, sometimes fleeing because of their active political and social involvement, and sometimes they are educated people who are really giving the unjust government a hard time. That is why a country can see refugee as a resource and not as a problem."

Though I am a Canadian myself, I will not romanticize Canada being a super refugee friendly city. But the above attitude is at least not totally untrue.

And I would like to remind myself that problems with Vietnamese refugee camps in HK was probably fostered by the horrible conditions of these camps. Of course one can say, "Who told them to come!" Well, it is true, the culprit is the Vietnamese situation, but then the Vietnamese situation could have been grealty flamed by the US and Chinese government......it is worthwhile to trace the roots of the Vietnamese civil war, but meanwhile, please do not turn a blind eye to these people.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Writing update and Trip

Just written a short piece for lampful.com called 慢慢的寫「亂」.

Going to Lushan (盧山) tomorrow, taking an overnight train there. Be back on the morning of the 8th. Struggled, but decided to bring Dcam instead of using film, because I don't have the money to develop it.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Update

Just wrote a little piece called A Draft of 世界觀.

Currently reading a book called 香港的殖民地幽靈:從殖民地經驗看今天的香港處境。Quite a readable little book that discuss our identity as the basis for viable long term political vision. Planning to recommend it to you guys later.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Little Progress

Basically, I have made little progress either in Land or Art. This week has been more of Worldview, both from work and from work related reading and thinking.

Regarding the job interview I had at Worldvision, I am having slight second thoughts whether they hire me or not. This is because there is an upcoming temporary 9 month assignment and I am highly considered as a candidate. The Worldvision job would be a safe choice "religiously" and a good choice for my family's sake. However, this 9 month assignment is in Art and the organization has great freedom for me.

Choice of 9 month art assignment is the harder choice because I would only see 9 months into the future (income wise, of course). If WV full time job is offered, it would be the easier path.

Sometimes we say the harder path is the right path. Sometimes we say the path has gotten easier because God has made a way.

Just so you (I) know, I still believe my calling to be in Art.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Job Seeking

Have been quite busy looking for jobs and preparing for this 1 interview. I do hope to get the position, will tell you if I do, or if anyone asks.

Thinking over my studies lately, I am thinking perhaps I should get back to art as soon as I am done with the Land paper. Land is a popular topic and though I have some insights, it still doesn't mean that it is my battle, I feel like reading the next person's newspaper. Gotta get back to art.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Long day at the Library

Such a long day, did not go to work today and went to the library and started writing on paper regarding Land. It was more successful than I hoped, and the paper has reached into certain aspects which I will need a bit more research. But overall the body has materialized and am going to work on the application.

Really glad to have finally used the book Archaeology, History, and Society in Galilee: The Social Context of Jesus and the Rabbis "Horsely offers New Testament scholars a wealth of well-digested information on the latest archaeological information. A fascinating critique of contemporary theories regarding the beginnings of Christianity and of rabbinic Judaism. There is a good deal to be savoured in this book, and all splendidly documented. Its contribution is greatly to be welcomed and deserves to be given the most serious attention."

Not only did he give good criticism, but also offered some unsensational but illuminating insights in understanding the political-socio-economic-religious-whatever situation of the Jews in Jesus' time.

My conclusion and application will begin with Bruggemann's Land and Walsh/Keesmaat's Colossians Remix.

******Looking for 1 or 2 more volunteer proof reader (chinese), will be paid in kind (free dinner).

Monday, March 12, 2007

搵工

搵工都近半年,自下年九月和公司了解分開後(有禮貌地互炒),都一直在找一份行政以外的工,最好當然是有得做藝術、文化或神學等研究的工,不過這類工在香港很少,所以一直都未有長工。

不過這半年卻令我更明白香港和找工作的路,就係理想的工不一定有,而我心目中的更是難找,所以現在我找的工作種類闊了,不過仍然是沒有找行政重的工:非不為也,實不能也。

要在工餘時間中在這幾個blog的東西,一但要專注!努力!

******************

大家可能留意到Belief比較多東西,而Art就沒有什麼進展,這是因為在香港(我所投入的圈子)較易進入神學討論,而藝術的討論較為少。

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Good Night!

在看漫畫版風之谷,和電影版差異很大,漫畫在描述女子主角娜烏西卡怎樣懂得與又可怕又有人性的昆蟲溝通,明到荒涼大地的原因,尊重和有醫治生命的能力,更能掌握風的特性在風中飛翔和為村莊帶來新鮮空氣。她的愛心不但打動了朋友、動物將軍和身經百戰的戰友,還得到他們的尊敬。

不過在空中飛翔的日子,在村莊生活的日子暫時離開了她,在實現理想的路途中,她要選擇戰爭的一方,經歷戰火和殺敵,她在瘋狂的戰爭中怎樣實行她對身命的尊重呢?「娜烏西卡接下來才是真正的戰爭了!」


*************

今晚初探聖經土地觀小組不錯,我自己也有新發現,想想一兩天才落筆。

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

圖書館的不同

上次話想在「王劉燕容基督教崇拜與藝術教育中心」資料中心開始我的教會音樂歷史研究,但係那裡未係圖書館,所以外人不可用,令我要想想用不用報一些課程讓 自己可以用。不過好消息是找尋出大學第四年的notes,那"Music up to 1600"的notes比想像中齊全很多,有不少老師影印給我們的書,所以可以從那兒開始。

可能你有發現,"這兒的信念"那裡有了第一課:小組:初探聖經土地觀。 有些朋友近來認識了這東西,而思考世界的本質關係到我們如何理解和面對身邊的東西,在藝術的學習中,這一課很重要,所以我便樂意的答應了(其實有一部份是 我提出的,希望多些一想,看看怎樣在本地運用)。我接觸土地神學的時候,便被它的歷史感和適切性深深吸引,當時,我跟的那位老師主要在簡樸的生活中活出這 土地觀,所以,我在這方面的文學浸淫了一年半後,才真正將這土地觀溶入我的藝術思想中,成為這系統的根。

Friday, March 2, 2007

第一煲湯:教會音樂史反省

為什麼用一煲湯來應容呢?因為有一些放在家很久的乾貨,拿來煲湯時原來好正,原來不用落街買,不用年年送乾貨給朋友,尤其是那些移民外地的人。

好,入正題:我中小學都係做好多音樂,入到大學更讀西方音樂史,不過好少好少將這東西與信仰放在一起(可能學術界主要係講視覺和文字),謂一一次係讀德國(偏馬克思主義)學者Adorno,當回應他文章On Popular Music時, 我寫低過以下的東西後,便忘記了:

"He is rejecting the possibility that popular music and its types may be a development of music under industrialization, just as Baroque music is considered to have grown out of the Renaissance."

"Plainchants, most often taught nowadays in music history as the origin of European music, was used for reciting scriptures during Medieval Mass and Office. Words or phrases would be set to certain melodies and was often used whenever it reappears in other chants only with slight variations. Early records of plainchants showed primarily descriptions for the rituals during the chants, and it was not after centuries of practice that the musical element gained its own importance. If serious music was able to grow out of Plainchants after hundreds of years, then perhaps something good will eventually grow out of popular music. Maybe, it already has."

雖然文章裡我有些偏袒流 行音樂,我其實對流行音樂有極大的保留,不過這就是思考有趣之處,因為的而且確十世紀初期教會音樂(plainchants)也是 非常公式化,但後來卻發展至Baroque音樂。從歷史開始,看音樂本身的特性、有歌詞和沒有歌詞音樂的不同、個人和群體信仰經驗等這些東西,大概是一些 會接觸到的課題。

無論如何,以往這方面的思考令我相信今日香港基督教音樂圈子值得回望舊人曾走過的路。未來這星期我要去浸大「王劉燕容基督教崇拜與藝術教育中心」的資料中心看看,預備一下怎樣進行。

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

舊notes & 朋友

How often do you save up university and high school notes, then one day take it out and realized that it is useful? Well, strangely it is happening to me, perhaps that is a sign that I never wanted to graduate in the first place. Based on the "Reformational Politics (Reader)" (3rd folder from the top), I have written this piece:

信仰與信仰之間:Schaeffer vs Dooyeveerd


好,咁日走了去一間注重學術的信仰機構,機構有學術氣味同時沒有躲在書裡而忘記社群生活,在那裡做的朋友都有與朋友攪社區藝術,雖然沒有從我的角度思考,但都對藝術有反思,佢會同佢班朋友講下,而我就要開始做些功課,讓他們看看我所形容的研究是什麼,因為就咁講係唔夠。

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

FAQ & 兩個步驟

好啦,好開心預備好了幾個blog有課程、藝術和信念,咁內容呢?其實這些blog係給我去研究藝術是什麼時交功課和寫感想用,可以鼓勵自己的同時,希望可以與讀者交流。

今天在巴士上想到一些F.A.Q.:

Q: 為什麼要這樣自己做呢?
A: 因為暫時都未找到有學校教這東西,便算找到,又冇錢和冇時間全職讀,所以自己讀。

Q: 究竟這東西是什麼呢?
A: 我想...可以算得上是藝術理論。

Statement: 藝術理論!中大可以讀呀!
Response: 其實我都想了很久去不去讀,不過因為在大學讀的話,錢和時間付出很大,而且看來不是我想讀的東西。

Q: 可以形容多少少你想讀的東西嗎?
A: 我很樂意這樣做。

知 識是建基於人的信念上,當人相信大自然是為人享用時,知識或行為便會因應這假設做標準,例如當美國、香港等政府計劃修保大自然破壞時(假定他們真的會這 樣做),提出的方法一般只會僅僅讓大自然不至殘破到經濟不能「增長」的水平。但如果像某些國家,看大自然為人生存夥伴的話,便不會因為香港人肯出錢來食魚 生便釣魚釣到某些魚面臨絕種。

當然沒有人是簡單地跟隨某一種信念,而是多種信念在每一個人或社群中爭取主權。這複雜並矛盾的信念會在一個人的世界觀顯露出來,不只影響宗教或學問,而是影響著一個人所有的行為。

基於對知識有這般看法,我希望能夠將研究建基在一套有別於香港主流的信念和世界觀上,同時敏感於自己對自我的盲點,所以很希望有同行者。

另外,發現當研究藝術時如果視野能夠闊一點,得出的知識會比較合用於現實社會。

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兩個步驟:
Set 課程 - 希望找到一些人可以給意見
找study partner - 希望找到一些人有類似的心志,一起學習

Monday, February 26, 2007

不同的幾天

說特別也不很特別,但的確是有些不同,近來因為對理想(相信可以說是召命)清晰了很多,某些時候心情會有比較大的起伏,因為雖然認清了要走的路是令人的心能定下來開始工作,但當想到這條路不容易行的時候,便有些失落。

昨 天找了一位讀post-grad(遲些才交代讀了什麼)時的師兄(像笑傲江湖中的華山派一般,同時入學但年紀較大便是師兄)談了一談,分享了我前面這條 路,看看他有沒有感動參與。找他是因為我倆都被所讀的學位影響極深,他回港後一段時間便致力發展舞蹈的工作,而我便對藝術活動開始了較學術的追尋。雖然他 因為身重任而拒絕了,但交談中那已經建立了的理解,和他那精簡的鼓勵,都令我定方向有很大的肯定。

另外,近來也想到對家人和未來家庭(希望)的責任,迫自己找工作,看似是向現實低頭,但當計算了工餘有多少時間的時候,都覺得仍是非常可行,所以現在這理想反而比從前更可想像。